i built a website. rebuilt it, actually.

k3y.co is the second iteration on the initial website project i created back in 2023, meant to be feaster by utilizing Go (a programming language) and the more advanced features of PocketBase, rather than relying on the JS extensions like I had been.

the initial inspiration for this entire project, all the way back to version 1.0, had two primary problems in mind it was looking to address:

• the internet is moving towards heavier and heavier censorship
• there are no websites that allow you to host webgames without forcing you to use certain engines and tools

when it came to version 2.0, however, i have to admit that i have no idea what problem i was actually trying to solve. i just knew there was a problem, somewhere, and i needed it solved.

at the start of 2025, after failing to get employed for multiple weeks in a row, i finally caved and decided to pull out a loan that i would pay back using the income from my commissions. this was following what had been several months of non-stop drawing, quite literally daily, and i was looking for essentially any lifeline i could grasp. retrospectively, it was obvious this would only work in the short term, and create the terms for the financial disaster the following month. maybe i knew that. i don't know.

so we then look at the queue, mountain that it is, and it seems insurmountable. i decided to finally close my comms completely, and just bite the bullet. eat less, go out less, do less. spend as little money as possible, and just work down the mountain.

it didn't matter. it didn't work, and it got worse.

i lost a friend i thought i was close with. i lost my neighbor. i lost my house. i lost all the money in my bank account.

i lost the last decade of my life.

it took everything in me to not kill myself, on some days. it felt like i had lost any sense of direction or purpose i had, finding myself quite literally back at square one.

what was i talking about again?

oh right, a website! i built a website. rebuilt it, actually.

...why, again?

i couldn't tell you why i started it. i couldn't tell you why it felt so important to finish it, either. i just knew that i needed to.

however, i can say this much: i knew i wanted big, chunky buttons.

people on the old internet would make random websites for their personal whatever-the-fuck, and add all these random and weird features just because they could. so, with the redesign, i wanted to capture that as much as i could. i tried to keep everything intentionally very "old" feeling, because something about big, chunky buttons just BEGS you to press them.

some other notable changes:

• overhauled site layout and design.
• new query functions added.
• new archive functions added.
• heatmap and global work log added to projects page.
• project pagination added to projects page.
• queue pagination added to projects page.
• image manipulator added to post page.
• image png converter added to post page.
• mass file downloader added to post page.
• video player added to post page.
• audio visualizer added to post page.
• projects pipeline added to post page.
• social media crosslinks added to post page.
• likes added to post page.
• anonymous comments added to post page.
• tripcodes and nicknames added to comments.
• early access code entry added to post page.
• heavy edits to the admin panel that literally no one but i will see lmao.
• added page mumbo jumbo
• cookie manager added.
• terms of service and privacy policy added.
• added comment formatting guide.
• moved "cheatsheet" to search.
• merged "queue" and "projects" into projects
• removed page "gallery"
• replaced page "support"
• removed substar connection

as you can tell, the site has been done now since before this post-mortem. i've already gone back to drawing, and i feel better than before. but i don't think i would feel this in the groove had it not been for the time i've taken to build this stupid, janky, held-together-with-twigs-and-glue piece of shit website.

perhaps it's as tolstoy wrote in Confession -- there is no escape for thinking creatures against the endless suffering of the world except by faith. maybe it was just a simple act of faith that said that i needed to prove to myself i was capable of finishing something, something large, without failing at it. that my hardwork and effort, when applied, DO produce results, and i AM capable of doing something other than failing.

perhaps i was just burnt out from drawing furry ass nearly every day for two years.

that debate can be left to minds smarter than i.

for me, this is over. i am at peace.